A Day in the Life of a Stay-At-Home-College-Student-Mother

8:30 am - Kick blankets off.

8:32 am - Have Fiance put blankets back on.

8:33 am - Kick blankets off again.

8:34 am - Fiance puts blankets on again, groans, and make sure I can't get out of blankets again, though I manage to wiggle a foot free.

9:45 am - Awoken by "I'm awake!" from Little Miss' room. Groan. Shove Fiance to get out of bed, only to have him shove me back.

10:00 am - Fiance's alarm goes off. He gets up and goes get Little Miss, I go downstairs and pull out milk and chop up bananas into cereal.

10:15 am - Fiance leaves for work. By this time Spongebob is on and while I'm trying to find my planner, Little Miss is chowing down on cheerios with bananas and blueberries, and a nice tall cup of milk.

10:30 am - 2 pm - Little Miss runs around strewing various toys around the house, while I attempt to do homework, but instead end up having to chase her around the house to make sure she doesn't destroy everything.

2:00 pm - 4:00 pm - Quiet time. Little Miss plays quietly in her room and I play on Facebook do a little bit of homework or housework without having her get underfoot.

4:00 pm - 5:00 pm - I start to cook dinner.

5:00 pm - 5:30 pm  - Little Miss and I eat dinner and watch an episode of Dora or Spongebob.

5:30 pm - 6:50 pm - She plays or we watch a movie.

6:50 pm - 7:00 pm - Brush teeth, put on pajamas, and read a bedtime story.

7:00 pm - Bedtime! The best part of the day.

7:00 pm - 9:00 pm - Homework

9:00 pm: Fiance comes home, usually bearing pizza.

9:30 pm - 1 am - Watch TV or a movie with Fiance until one or both of us pass out/drag the other to bed.

Of course, sometime between the time we go to bed, and the time we wake up, Little Miss usually wakes up with a wet diaper or a bad dream, in which case we're up with her until we can convince her to go back to sleep. Or she'll use the curtains to climb out of bed and come into our room to inform us that she had a good nap.

Silly, silly child.

Curiousity Finished

So, Valentine's Day has come and gone, and it was a good one.

The first present happened to be Fiance's parents taking Little Miss for a couple of days. That was great. She had a blast (probably because she got spoiled rotten since Grandparents have no idea what time out is) but was happy to come home last night and sleep in her big girl bed (which she got because she decided to pull the bars off of her other bed, so a new bed was in order. We were still pretty pissed though). And even though we missed her, we loved being able to sleep in and not hear screaming in the morning.

The trip to the grandparents was also very much needed on my end. While I love her, I have homework I needed to get done. Also, she bit my nipple when I was trying to wash soap out of her hair. That hurt. I cried hysterically into the phone talking to Future Mother-In-Law (and then on the phone with Fiance) asking her to please take her for a couple of days. Future Mother-In-Law had to call Fiance to translate, but in the end, it was all sorted out and Little Miss went to bed while I iced my nipple in misery on the sofa. 

I got my presents at midnight on Valentine's Day, while watching Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time with Fiance. I got a Love Bug named George, from Build-A-Bear (so I can squeeze him and love him and hug him...) and inside of George's little box of chocolate was a gold snowflake necklace. It's so pretty. And yes, I will add pictures later.

He got what he wanted too - a back scratcher. We went into Bed, Bath and Beyond and found a back scratcher and he immediately started using it. We also went into Lindt Chocolate, where we both got chocolate, and Yankee Candle, where he got candles. This was followed by dinner at CiCi's Pizza (I don't like it, but he does, so we went there) and then a night of card games, drinking and movies with a friend who decided to stay at our house. It was a nice day overall. And my cats were happy, because my curiosity could kill a million cats. Though, I think Brother a.k.a. Simple Cat is still wobbly from a week of exposure to curiosity.

I hope everyone else had a nice Valentine's Day too!

So Much For Smelling Good

So, Valentine's Day is coming up. That dreadful time of year where everything is covered in Pepto Bismal pink and little naked men with wings and arrows (i.e. Cupid) are sprinkled all over the place. So many people make such a big deal about this day created by Hallmark and various candy companies...and I'm guilty too.

Is the reason why I'm so into Valentine's Day this year is because I have someone to share it with. No, that's not it.

The truth is that dear Fiance has plans for next Monday, and refuses to tell me what they are. I abhor surprises. I HAVE to know what will happen. Finding out surprises becomes an obsession that I will not rest until I know what it is, and he knows this. He takes a sick pleasure in my trying to coax, force, bash the answer out of him. And he doesn't even crack.

However, this presents a problem for me. I have no idea what I'm going to do for him. What in the hell would I do for him? A card? Lela will shred it. Food? I'm pretty much a one dish kinda gal, and that is mac and cheese. I have no clue.

His suggestion is a backscratcher and a blowjob. My friend has suggested in covering myself with chocolate sauce, but I'm not a big fan of that idea either. And so far, his suggestion will probably mean the most out of everything, sadly enough.

And the Little Miss doesn't even know what Valentine's Day is, but will probably accept it as Candy Day and drive us insane on a sugar high, while pointing out that everything is pink. Especially while pointing out that everything is pink.

Like my $50 perfume, which she dumped out all over the bed last night. Grrrrrr.

Wedding Expos give out free swag. Go to them.

Today was the day of a big wedding expo that I just HAD to go to, despite the fact that my Mom ended up not coming and Fiance was like "I want my bed" and stayed home. After dropping off a movie that I'd borrowed from a friend, I went to the hotel two hours early, to wait in line for this expo. The line, by the time I got there, was in the basement. It was here I learned that the Omni does not heat their basements.

Apparently, this Expo was giving out free 8-Day Honeymoons to Mexico and free wedding band sets to the first 300 people. And I'd be damned if I didn't get within the first three hundred. (And I did, aha!) Pearl necklaces and earrings were also distributed (sweet) and then there were various other raffles throughout the day. There was food, and booze and cake. There was even cake with booze in it! It was glorious.

However, despite the fact that I wanted to spend the entire four hours there, I didn't. I ran into Maid of Honor/Fellow Bride and ended up completing my rounds around the room (why are there no florists at wedding expos? Don't most brides want flowers?) and then we left to go to a hookah bar, which was closed. At that point, I just went home. After getting gas and pizza, which Fiance had ordered in the hopes that I would pick it up.

I had bribed the Little Miss this morning with gummy sharks. I gave her one before I left and told her "There's more where that came from if you behave!" She behaved. She received a gummy shark when I got home, and I made her day.

But then again, yesterday she decided that she wanted to eat a ton of gummy sharks, which I told her she couldn't have. So when I asked for a kiss later, she told me. "No gummies, no lovin'. No sharks no love." Repeatedly.

But I did get her to pose for several pictures, because she dressed herself yesterday (after pulling out half the clothes in her dresser) and it was cute.

At least she didn't do too bad on the matching front. Though my office was kind of destroyed by the time I found out where she was, as you can tell by the papers on the floor.

Seriously, if you ever have kids, throw all hope of ever being organized ever again out of the window. It isn't going to happen.

Hyper Me is Hyper

So, apparently it is impossible for me to go to sleep before 4 a.m. This is something that Fiance is not fond of, especially because for some reason tonight, he's made it his mission to stay up with me, despite the fact that we're driving two hours away tomorrow to see my mom at 10 a.m. and one of us should be responsible and go to sleep.

Of course, they're calling for a high of 23 degrees tomorrow, so I'm all excited to go out anyway. (By the way, if it's this cold, there should be some snow here. There's no reason for it to be this cold and there's nothing to show for it.

But all this has led to is me finding the bag of gummy sharks that I bought the other day at a local Mennonite store, and devouring a couple while loudly singing the "Jaws" theme and throwing them at Fiance and giggling. He retaliated by going "Huuuuungry....huuuuuuuungry.....hungry hippos, hungry hippos..." set to the theme of  "Jaws" and now it's stuck in my head.

See? Gummy sharks exist, though the pictures are blurry, like when people take pictures of the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot or aliens. But they're real, and they taste like blue raspberry.

I don't know why I needed to validate the fact that gummy sharks exist. I'm sure that you either 1) didn't care or 2) believed me, and if that's the case, you're sweet.

I think I'm disturbing Fiance, while he's watching The Fifth Element, seeing as I'm blaring music and random youtube videos two rooms in the way. I apologized for the loud music, and blamed it on his little brother, who decided to put a lot of random stuff on my iPod saying that I need to listen to 'the good stuff'. Yes, I do like screaming death metal whatever. But at 4 in the morning, I do not need to be listening to something soft and then have someone sounding like they're going to come through my laptop speakers and eat me.

Though any song called "Bondage Goat Zombie" is a win in my book.

I'm so glad that Fiance can cook.

So, it was previously established a long time ago that I can not cook. Maybe it was from when I was 12 and I set my aunt's microwave on fire because no one ever told me that aluminum foil doesn't go in the microwave, or maybe it's because I can burn water. Macaroni and cheese, tater tots, chicken nuggets, and porcupine meatballs are about the only things I can cook, not including things I can just toss in the microwave (without aluminum foil). I can bake like no one's business, but cooking? Not so much.

Thankfully, Fiance is skilled at cooking. I mean, he makes AWESOME food, seriously. This is good, because that means Little Miss and I won't starve and bad, because he 1) cooks almost everything with gravy, and 2) I feel like I've gained five pounds after eating.

Take tonight for instance.

He'd been bugging me to let him make turkey burgers for the past week, and tonight, after Little Miss was put to bathed and put to bed, I told him to go ahead and make them. So, at 10:22 PM, he finally starts to make the turkey burgers. He keeps coming in and asking me questions about spices ("What do you think about rosemary? Should I grind it up?") and cheese ("I'm putting the cheese inside the burger, is that all right?") And I give him my opinion and go back to chatting on Facebook.

Then, I notice moaning coming from the kitchen, and I'm curious, and slightly worried. Just what the hell is he doing in there that requires "Oh God....yes....Mmmm....so good...." So I get up and go into the kitchen, and I find this in the frying pan.

                                                    I had just cleaned the stove top too....

"What do you think? This one's yours!" He beamed. 

That's a one-pound turkey burger filled with cheese and spices. It smelled so good. But it was huge. (This was the smaller one. He ate the bigger one himself). A few minutes later, more moaning comes from the kitchen and I expect to see yet another gargantuan burger, but instead, I see this:

That was my turkey burger smothered in a gravy filled with cilantro and red peppers. We settled down and he waited until I took the first bite, apparently anxious that I would be like "This shit sucks!" and flip the table over or something.

I took a bite. It was good. I took another bite. He smiled like a child who's come home from school with an ashtray made out of their hand print and proceeded to eat. Man vs. Food was on the television in the other room, and apparently that convinced us that we had to eat our entire burger. We were in a competition now, and one that I lost. He finished his burger while I stared at the plate, wanting to eat more but having my stomach go "Please don't." My desire to prove to him that I can eat the burger overwhelmed my desire to not eat, and I finished it, pushing my empty plate at him as if to say, "Yeah, what else you got. I can do it!"

He then pulled out ice cream. I hung my head in shame and admitted defeat. He grinned triumphantly.

I think his whole plan is going to backfire tonight when we go to bed and he wants to do "stuff."

Fiance: "Hey honey..."
Me: *snoring as a result of food coma*
Fiance: "Damn."